RAISING KIDS MEANS RAISING EXPECTATIONS

I sit at my country club, an exclusive Long Island golf club whose membership includes about 300 families...Of which I am the only Latina.

When one hears that another's kid is near graduation from high school, there is no hesitation in asking, "What College are they going to?"

It's what is expected. 

I hear people talk about the colleges they went to and what colleges their kids are either at, off to, or will be graduating from in the near future.  Not so much with pride, as matter of fact.  

I can't help but think back to my younger days in a land only about 30 miles from where I live now but an entire galaxy away...Where having a high school diploma was a coup and a steady blue collar job guaranteed you the neighborhood's utmost respect. Where two parent households were scarce and fathers that support their children were almost as hard to find as a male over the age of 25 that had not ever been arrested.

The differences of where I have been and where I sit today weigh on me as I realize that the circumstances still exist just 30 miles away.  So what is it that sets the worlds so far apart?

I believe it is expectation.

While all parents have hopes for their children, perhaps the challenge is in raising the expectation, thinking bigger and reaching higher. 

The other day, I was speaking to another member at the country club.  He is a neighbor of mine, who knows my daughter well from her work environment.  He is a toy manufacturer and she is a buyer at a boutique toy store.  He  commented on her excellent work ethic, enthusiasm and demeanor.  I thanked him with great pride and told him that she would be leaving to go away to college soon.  His response, "Well she really should be in college, after all."  

My eyes darted in disbelief and I wanted to say, "Que, Que?"

I felt offended that  he did not expect that my daughter was already in her second year of college, and just deciding to go away after her associates to complete a bachelors.  After all, that was always the plan.  Moreover, What kind of Mother did he think I was?  

Getting over what he thought of me, I corrected his expectation, "She works full time and goes to school full time.  Been doing it since High School.  It's where I set the bar, and she is well surpassing that."

So set the bar, reach high and REPRESENT! 

Signed, THE COUNTRY CLUB CHICA, Elaine Del Valle

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